Thursday, March 11, 2010

"For once you have fallen low. Let us see in the future how high you can rise"

Okay. All is forgiven. I can't hold a grudge for shit. I love everyone.

GASP! My precious companion died protecting me. I didn't want to replace you, but I can't go on without doing so. You are my partner in life and you made sure I was safe always. I wish I could just bring you back to life, since you so courageously took your final breathes in attempts to keep me in one piece. You did just that, my dear friend. You will always hold a special place in my heart, for you were the first to truly capture it. You weren't just a material object to me. You were a part of my family. You brought much joy to my life and it saddens me deeply to let you go. I will always love you. I am so proud of you and what you did for me. It was honor serving with you. Your replacement is nice, but he is not you. He can never be you. You will always be first and your memory and spirit will be with me forever.

I live. I ride. I am. JEEP.

Signing off...
Your Beloved
Dr. Watson

Friday, March 5, 2010

"Well, Watson, we seem to have fallen upon evil days. "

Well, I have a broken nose, a mild concussion and lots O' bruises. Some man, who wasn't a douche bag, he was actually very polite and had my well being as his top priority. He failed to yield to me as he was turning left and I was traveling Northbound. He hit me head on, causing to dig under my tires and causing my lovely Jeep to take flight...and then roll...and roll...and roll...and roll...and skid to halt sideways.

I remember telling myself to be as calm as possible and to just be awake when it stopped. I gripped my hands around the steering wheel and locked my arms and tucked my face between my arms until I stopped spinning. I remember being so scared, but trying to hold myself together long enough to get myself out of the vehicle.

As soon as I stopped spinning, I unbuckled my seat belt, not realizing I'm completely upside down and I will myself to crawl out of the Jeep window and get to safety before I fell to pieces.

Well I got to safety and my mind was a scattered mess. However, everyone involved is alive and well, which is the most important. Both vehicles involved are completely demolished. They will never live to see another day. I'd like to say thank you to Zach, who helped pulled me out and would not leave my side. Most other people would only have cared about themselves.

I am safe, although greatly battered and bruised.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

Sunday, February 28, 2010

"These are much deeper waters than I had thought."

I would like to compose a letter to someone who is near and dear to my heart.

Dear Sherlock,

I love you with a wicked passion and I care very much about what happens to you. In the words of a very wise man, Alan, "I don't care if we kill somebody." Remember that. I wish you could see what I see. You need to make this right and do whats right for yourself and everyone else involved. This doesn't just affect you. This affects everyone around you.

I want to help you, but I have done everything I could without handling the situation for you. Sometimes, in order to make things better, you have to make decisions that you may not necessarily want to make. And sometimes, things have to get WAY worse, before they can ever get better.

You once said that you trusted me completely. I've tried to keep my mouth shut and be supportive, because all I want for you is happiness. I also do not think you are happy. I think you are miserable. I think you are waiting for something to move that is immovable. And you can't make it move just by being there. It has to want to move.

All's fair in love and war. It's time to come home and leave it up to somebody else to work really hard. You're hands are now tied and there is nothing more that you can do, except leave. I wouldn't tell you that unless I felt it was truly in YOUR best interest.

I love you to death.

"When once your point of view is changed, the very thing which was so damning becomes a clue to the truth. "

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

Saturday, February 27, 2010

"I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor."

This is me. I'm the battery pouring electricity into a non-conductor. All the time. Never fails. I get worked up over something so small sometimes. I could be talking about someone else and I talk about it like it's my own life, thats how passionate I get. I can't make it stop. I am an energizer bunny. I keep going and going and going until I'm spent.

Or like trying to sell a car. Someone putting an offer on it and then when you go to give them the address, they respond with, "Hey, looking at another car right now. Call you when I'm done." REALLY?! I understand that I have had tons of hits on this vehicle, but are you JOKING?! I mean, go fuck yourself, San Diego!!

Ugh, so frustrating. Why don't people ever mean what they say and say what they mean? Seriously, how hard is it? If you don't fucking know or aren't fucking sure, just fucking say so. Then we will both be on the same page and I won't be fucking surprised when you say, "Hey, I'm looking at another car right now. Call you when I'm done." I'll be less inclined to want to rip your fucking face off too. Right the fuck off.

I'm fuming...

“We're in the middle of changing administrations so we don't want to move forward too aggressively.”

No, I kind of fucking do want to move forward aggressively. Just a smidge.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

"Because it is my desire. Is that not enough?"

Take a stroll down memory lane with me. Dig into your arsenal. Reminisce bout the good ol' days. Think back to way back when. Break out the artillery.

How many times have you walked into a bar and noticed some miserable schmuck hitting on beautiful woman and you realize before he does how bad he is crashing and burning? It's a sight for sore eyes and almost feel obligated to go over there and nurse him back to health.

Men should never have other men as wing men. I'm just going to put that out there right now. I am the BEST wing man for any guy. I can't make this shit up. I know how to talk to women, because I am one. AND I can do a little prep work before you put her in oven to cook. Just sayin'...

I can lay the ground work. Feel her out, see what she's thinking. This is not "I'm Tarzan, you Jane." Women are more complicated then that. As shitty as it sounds, its the truth. You want to be better at picking up women, ask a woman. I'm just saying.

# "Journeys end in lovers' meetings. "

Farewell friends. Until next time.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Things must be done decently and in order. "

First of all, if you've ever been to a bar before you will know what I'm talking about. People who go to the bar in wife beaters, arm bands, baggy cargo pants or sports socks are just asking for a blog to be written about them.

Seriously, do you really look in the mirror and think to yourself, "Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!" That shit can't happen. Let's go over logic.

A wife beater is supposed to be worn as an undershirt to a polo or regular t-shirt, not as it's own shirt.

Cargo pants were already meant to be baggy, why buy them EXTRA baggy? What are you really trying to hide?

Arm bands are meant to clear the sweat off of one's brow, most commonly used why playing sports. You're skinny as fuck, I already know you don't play sports.

Adidas sports socks. Picture this, a pair of decent slip-on Vans with a pretty sweet design on it...with Adidas sports socks sticking out over them!!! You have to be joking.

That's almost as bad much as socks with flip flops. Sneakers with jeans in a bar. Sneakers with skirts! Flip flops with jeans on (most) men. Ties worn with no collared shirts. All big NO-NO's and yet a very large population commits these crimes every day.

I am not a fashion diva by any means, but I know what I like. And furthermore, I say what I mean and mean what I say. Write that down.

I'm not very judgey. I know what I like and sometimes I let my judgement get away from me and for that I sincerely apologize. However....

I will not apologize for having good taste. Can not, will not.

"I am glad of all details, whether they seem to you to be relevant or not."

I'll finish by saying that some of these things are acceptable and even tolerable, but only as individuals, not all together at the same time. Think about it, then let me know.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

"There is so much red tape in these matters. "

Why hello!

What an effing day it has been. The red tape... *sigh*

So often does it happen when one has a hard time deciding where the line is drawn in the sand, how fine the line really is and at which point the line has been crossed.

These bitches crossed the the big, bold, red line while I watched them do it and then flat out denied it!! Could YOU be any more obvious!? Oh wait, you could. Well don't.
You're feeding me bullshit and I'm not fucking hungry anymore.

At my place of work, people have to follow rules and policies and uphold a standard. We are effing professionals. We don't walk around throwing "F Bombs" in front of customers and make vulgar, graphic comments. I mean, seriously.

Who. the. fuck. do. you. think. you. are. I fucking run this shit. You don't tell me how it fucking is. I already know!!! SO, you can't follow the simple rules that we have in place, you can walk. Kick rocks. Take a flying leap. Walk the plank. Haul ass. Out with you.

Bitches be running wild. They turned tail and ran. Suckers.

"The fates are against you, Watson."

The fates were against me, but I looked fate right in both their fucking faces and said, "FUCK YOU". I'm just fucking saying.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson

"It is always awkward doing business with an alias."

Here goes our first post.

Welcome! I am Dr. Jonnie Watson and my partner-in-crime is Sherlock Jones. We are a team. A duo. A twosome. A pair. Flatmates. Bunkies. Two peas in a pod. Pals. Hetero partners in life, if you will.

We decided to start a blog, because... we wanted to... I don't know why we did, but we did nonetheless. We just wanted a place where we could be ourselves yet remain mysterious.

This blog will consist of day-to-day happenings, reviews of all sorts, rants, raves, and whatever else we effing feel like.

Onward and forward.

"This case deserves to be a classic. " --We shall see.

Signing off...
Dr. Watson and Sherlock Jones